The Betrayal

"All is Forgiven"

Logline

A paramedic is on the hit list of the town’s drug lord for detoxing his clients. He submits and tells his under cover friend that he is ready to die.

BlueCat Screenplay Script Analysis

This story has a lot of excellent suspense, starting within the first 1/8th of the page. You have this mysterious detective, Jules, exiting an apartment building with bloody hands and his gun exposed. Already, your audience will be intrigued and want to know more about this character. The story inside the project apartment that Jules tells, this is where all the action begins and it gives way to Isais cause. It’s very engaging to jump back and forth between the past and present to see both events happening at the same time. You show the destruction, this person, Louis C. causes through Jules’s crack head veteran story; giving Isais reason to help the people addicted his drugs and to save them from ‘The Devil.’

I like the new opening to this story; it directly connects to page 13 when Isais comes home to his mother and she wants her drugs. He hopelessly tries not to give in, but does. We learn more about Isais’s character, even if it’s these brief moments showing him stealing from a hospital and dealing with his mother. I enjoyed these moments and it shows why Isais decides to make this sacrifice for these people. The conversation between Jules and Isais is well crafted. It’s suspenseful and transitions in and out from the story to them in the diner. This adds more to the tension whenever there's a pause from the story. You do this without calling too much attention to the transition.

*NOTE: I do not own the rights to the above image. It is clearly a depiction representing the story.

© Clint Horvath 2018. All Rights Reserved.