Tomorrow Never Comes

"Everyone Should Get a Second Chance"

     

Awards: Top Ten Percent in BlueCat Short Screenplay Competition 2015

Logline

A spy doubts his abilities to kill a respected lawyer when he realizes he's past his prime and begins to regret his chosen career.

BlueCat Screenplay Script Analysis

You have constructed an engaging, personal, probing short film script that achieves the bulk of what it sets out to do. To begin with, you utilize very effective scene descriptions that not only keep your script moving at a steady pace, but also don’t bog your reader down with unnecessary details. Additionally you manage to shade in subtle characterization details through your descriptions, which is always beneficial.

You do some really wonderful work in your script by showing us minimalistic details that convey a fair bit. Elements like Leonard’s routine in he morning, his tattoo, and even his attire all tell us a fair bit so that he doesn’t have to. You do the same thing with his coughing and sore back, while never fully telling us what’s going on and letting the audience come to their own conclusions. Even Alison and Paul’s case is moving on in the background and you never really telling us what’s going on with it, instead focusing on the more personal minimalistic story going on within it.

There’s a very efficient subtlety coursing through all of this that’s highlighted in something like a short. Your script benefits from a real succinctness that tell you everything it needs to with a very less is more attitude. There’s a whole backstory going on with the devil tattoos that you never jump into. The same can be said for the flashbacks to Leonard and Lucille in terms of what they choose to highlight and how they’re being used in relation to what’s happening with Paul.

What you do with the Frank character is really wonderful and the deep implication that he is the Devil works considerably well here. Small touches like him wanting “6” hit on the elevator go just far enough without feeling contrived, and you explore this idea of whether he is or isn’t to great effect, whether it be Frank’s references that Leonard is out of time, or even how Frank kills Leonard after Leonard’s had his epiphany and realized what he needs to. It’s great stuff, and it’s subtle enough too tat you could argue it either way. You’ll generate debate, which is what you want from a movie.

It’s a smart, economical idea to intercut with Leonard as he’s listening to Paul and Alison. You get a lot out of it. Similarly, juxtaposing Paul with Leonard is done well and you show how they're two sides of the same coin very effectively.

Lastly, your ending works well enough, comes unexpectedly, and leaves the audience wanting more, with all of this making it a strong closer.

 

*NOTE: I do not own the rights to the above image. It is clearly a depiction representing the story.

© Clint Horvath 2018. All Rights Reserved.